In 1984, Betty Mahmoody travelled from America to Iran with her husband and daughter. Once there, Betty realised that she had been tricked into the trip - her husband, an American-educated Iranian had promised her that it was only a holiday but he actually planned to stay in Iran. The story details her time in Tehran, her interactions with her inlaws and her eventual escape through Turkey.
My feelings about this book are mixed. As a memoir, it's actually pretty well written and the narrative structure is quite interesting too, with a few flashbacks at key moments which add contxt. What I found really "annoying" and unpleasant was all of the "Rah Rah America is Great" sentiments. Betty as a narrator seems incredibly biased. She can't seem to find anything positive to say about Iran or Iranian culture at all. Her descriptions of the way that her inlaws eat are stomach-turning. I don't know whether her inlaws were particularly disgusting or whether her perceptions and memories are all tainted by the horrible situations that she was in, but she continually says "The Iranians" did this or that, insinuating that the entire population of the country lived with the disregard for manners and hygiene that her husband's family seem to. She continually talked about America and Americans like they are the chosen people. Now, I loved America - I married an American too! - but it's not a perfect country and there are gross, stinky, bad mannered people everywhere in every country.
Here's an example passage from later in the book which illustrates my point. Betty cooks a Thanksgiving meal for a few Iranians who have been educated in America before returning to Iran:
"I was thankful for them - a whole new circle of wonderful,loving people who delighted in civilised living, who were, regardless of the circumstances of their birth, far more American than Iranian."
This sort of ignorant and self congratulatory commentary really put me off. Had I not been reading this for the list, I would have stopped fairly soon into the narrative. This attitude is what Americans are stereotypically known for, and it really irritated me. Her comments about the treatment of women were also very generalised, and considering that she interacted, within the novel itself, with very few women, they seem a little shaky. I have known plenty of educated, independent and very much in control Muslim women who have chosen the traditional dress - so to say that ALL women are oppressed and forced to wear it, is just ignorance.
The book got better once Betty's journey began but overall, I'm not a fan.
PS Thank you to the comment-er :) below who took time to give such a thoughtful perspective.
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2 comments:
I am from Iran and I have lived in Iran the same time that Betty was there. I am now in Canada. I saw the movie and I have many things to say. This cannot be analyzed just in some lines. Nobody can judge these events without having all information, the reality in fact. This is why I don't want to give any judgment without knowing the real facts. I categorize all the things and scenes that you can see in movie in 5 groups:
1-some of them are truth, for example the way that they ate. Especially in years ago people liked to sit on the ground and eat. This is what many people now do.
2- It's sad that she has tried to show some subjects that are not truth. e.g taking young people to war with force. It's a big lie. I have heard that she has stated that Iranian families are dirty, you can go and read some other American wives who have married an Iranian or have travelled to Iran and see their memories and their allusion about Betty's memories. All they said that it's unfair.
3-in some, she tried to relate some events or behaviors to Islam or Iranian people, like hitting the wife. I ask readers not to judge without any study, just on the basis of one two personal talks. Islam, say how can you hit your wife, who you share your best feelings with? In Iranian culture, women has a very high esteemed situation, we are the same people that 2500 years ago stated that there could not be any difference between man and woman. We are the same nation that never say he/she, because the male and female is the same for us. Iranian people respect women much more than Northern American people as I can see now. consider in rare times, Iranian parents punish their sons even by hitting when thy are doing a very dangerous actions, but they never hit daughters, because we treat very differently with our daughters, sisters and wives. I don't mean that Betty's husband never hit her, but I mean, is not there any husband in US that does not hit her wife? Of course even today you can find many files in courts. This is not an Iranian culture, this is not an Islamic tradition, it's a global problem.
4-In some cases, she tried to exaggerate, they way that a woman police ran and threatened her to keep hijab. the way that in many cases the relatives forced her to do as they like.
5- about the rest, we cannot judge, because we have to ask questions both. This is a normal happening that in a disagreement when you listen to one side you give right to that side, and when you listen the other side you give right to that side. In a real judgment both must be present and have the ability and right and freedom to defend. In this case, how Moody can defend?? I am sorry for people who read things and easily accept it, because they way of writings makes readers' heart broken and it arises the emotions.
Finally, personally I admired Betty’s bravery to do such a difficult plan. It's just my personal opinion and it does mean anything, just I think it was a very brave doing.
green_girl_ir_007@yahoo.com
An enjoyable read Not Without My Daughter Betty Mahmoody . loved the way you wrote it. I find your review very genuine and original, this book is going in by "to read" list.
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